Welcome to Home ed-ing the SENbetweeners
Join us on this incredible journey as we navigate the world of home education.
Here you will find a judgement free space. We aim to give you a realistic portrayal of everyday life, and the trials and tribulations of learning for children whose needs are not severe enough for specialist provision, but too complex to thrive in the mainstream setting.
Our
Story
Get to Know Us
Hi and welcome to this safe space.
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I am Rebecca, single mum to 9 year old twin boys. We are actually relatively new to home ed (twin 1 was de-registered 14 months ago; twin 2 was de-registered 9 months ago) but we are no strangers to educational struggles!
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Before I delve into that, I feel I should give you some context...I am a qualified teacher and educational psychologist, and I still work on a very ad hoc basis.
I also loved school when I was younger, and chose to stay in educational for many of my adult years.
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However, for my boys, school never worked. Even at preschool they never felt comfortable in that large social environment. They (still) hate being away from me, and they struggled with the demands
of the classroom. From a young age, Twin 1 always told me "Mummy, I want to learn but in a different way". Years of school avoidance, the very late issue of Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs), and a nice cocktail of early trauma, mental health and neurodiversity, and here we are 😀
Book Club What I am attempting to read this week...
05.09.2025
This week I have started reading Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom by Kerry McDonald.
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​I am only a couple of chapters in, but I'm finding the book really thought provoking: It starts with discussion of where schools as we know them came from, and how they developed to meet a societal need. It is quite Americanised, but still much applies to the UK. I think it is fascinating how schools emerged as a system to provide childcare and meet future labour requirements. And I strongly question whether that has changed? It breaks my heart to see schools extending their hours more and more to meet the needs of working parents. How did we become a society where a child being away from the home 8-6pm every day is an acceptable norm? Then throw in homework, and how many hours are our children 'working'?!
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Yes, the book has riled me (in a good way). I'll let you know how it progresses.... 😀
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29.08.2025
In an attempt to start off the new term on the right footing, this week I have been revisiting PACE. PACE is a therapeutic, trauma informed approach to interaction with children, devised by Dan Hughes. It stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. It can be used by parents and professionals, and recreates the 'typical' healthy interaction many parents have with their babies.​
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There is a wealth of information on the internet about PACE, but the site I personally found most helpful this week was http://proactiveapproaches.co.uk
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This site provides examples of how to apply PACE in different situations, but also acknowledges the challenges. Something I have always found particularly difficult is staying truly, completely, 'present' with my children. This is especially challenging when you yourself are tired, stressed or feeling overwhelmed. But I have taken on board the advice...to make time each day to consciously apply the approach: no distractions, conscious application. I'll give it a go!
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22.08.2025
I absolutely love this week's book: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BRAIN GETS STUCK: A kids guide to overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner. The book is so well written and accessible, and it is easy to navigate. I completed it in one sitting (unheard of for me). I have to say though, I used it for my own learning...I did try to share it with the boys but, as usual, they clammed up. However if your child is more amenable, there are lovely activities throughout the book. In our case, however, I read and absorbed the language, and use this when verbalising out loud for my children.
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15.08.2025
Over the past two weeks I have been reading fiction. Yes, fiction! It's the holidays and as much as the kids need a break, I do too. I have completed a whole book: Someone is Lying by Heidi Perks. It is one of those family crime/thriller/mystery books, and to my delight it is set in my home town!!😀 The book was really good - full of twists and turns. I find I need this kind of fast paced story line to keep me engaged. If I'm not hooked by the first few pages, I'm never going to finish it. I read very purposefully in front of my children for two reasons: To model enjoyment of reading (which sadly school bashed out of them) and to model relaxation and the importance of taking time to yourself. I verbalise very overtly "I am going to have a rest day and read my book"; "I've nearly finished my book...it is so exciting. There aren't many books I like to read. You have to find ones that are exciting to you". I, like the boys, loved books when I was very young, and school ruined reading for me too. As an adult I read a lot of academic texts, but as a parent I am rediscovering the enjoyment in reading for relaxation.
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01.08.2025
This week I am reading NOTHING. I am completely on strike 🤣
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25.07.2025
Earlier this week I saw a really interesting post by @peaceparents entitled "Spirituality" and parenting a PDA Kid.
The author talked of her own journey into spirituality, and how it links to parenting her PDA son." She talked of acknowledging, "SO MUCH I cannot understand and control"; the need to surrender; and seeing the connection between the process of life deconditioning to live our souls design, to the process of "unlearning and lowering demands" when parenting PDA children.
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Having found spirituality myself when my boys were young I recognise a lot of truths in this, and it doesn't just apply to PDA. In fact, I wonder how many home educators see the link too...for me, my process of deconditioning from societal expectations leads me to believe I will never return my children to mainstream education, I just cannot abide by the system anymore. It also motivates me to educate my children to think freely and differently, and to question everything. And I think that's what home education is about.
18.07.2025
This week I have been on reading strike! Well, not entirely, but it's holiday time and I have taken a break from 'learning' to read for relaxation instead. So no book review this week, but I'll be back on on next week.
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11.07.2025
This week I have pre-read My Brain Is A Home by Orlanda Bettison, in readiness to share with the boys at a later date. I love this colourful, accessible little book. It explains three 'important parts' of the brain using child-friendly analogies and characters, and includes strategies and resources to help make sense of emotions. Once I have tried it out on the boys I will report back! The psychologist in me is really passionate about helping children understand how their brains work, and that they can take control.
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04.07.2025
Not technically a book, but this week I completed an online webinar by Dr Naomi Fisher: Helping ASD children with OCD. I cannot recommend Dr Fisher's training enough... she is so sensitive to the realistic struggles of families of children with additional needs. Her advice is sensible, practical and accessible. There is no blame but great empathy.
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Both of my boys have struggled with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) at some point in their early lives: One is really struggling now. What I loved was that Dr Fisher explained how this is even more complex for children with autistic spectrum disorders (ASD) and therefore the typical advice we are given does not work. She introduced a 3 step model: Step 1. Address the background anxiety; Step 2. Talk about thought and feelings; Step 3. Ease open the OCD trap. She stressed the importance on spending time on steps one and two before progressing to step three, and she gave great examples of scripts parents can use. I finished the webinar feeling empowered and less guilty for "getting things wrong". I cannot do the training justice here - but please reach out if this affects you, or contact Naomi directly (www.naomifisher.co.uk).
What has inspired me this week
'I can recite the quadratic equation' Youth Parliament Speech
This is a few years old now, but still makes me emotional every time I hear it. What a powerful speech - for me it epitomises everything that is wrong with our education system, most of all that we STILL are not listening to the service users: children and young people in education.
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The sun is out, and so are the families
I was a little late posting my blog this week, as last night I went on an impromptu walk along the beach with a friend. It was 7.30pm, and the beach was packed! The number of families out enjoying the sun together was amazing.
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I never underestimate how lucky I am to live on the south coast, or to have family nearby who will babysit last minute (thanks sis). It felt amazing to get out on my own for a bit and to see so many children, and adults, carefree. Life is tough. These little moments matter.
A realistic view of PDA @atpeaceparents
I have become slightly addicted to these shorts on social media (@peaceparents). Created by PDA researcher and mum, Casey Ehrlich, these posts never fail to make me feel better. The one I watched this week for example - why your house is always going to be a mess - reminded me of the daily struggles us parents of children with SEN face when we try to live up to societal expectations of what parenting should 'look like'. Check out @atpeaceparents on any platform - I promise you you will feel better and less alone.
The strength of the SEN parent
When I started home educating, I joined various Facebook groups, including one not related to home education, but specifically for parents of children with mental health needs. The stories you read are heart breaking, and humbling, and really put things into perspective. Even as an SEN mum myself, I can honestly say I have no idea how some of these families cope with what they do. And get up every morning and do it all again. These groups are so important
: they offer a community of support from people who truly understand what you are going through. Being an SEN parent can be extremely isolating, especially when it is mental health or another 'invisible' disability. All credit to those parents who keep going.
The closeness of twins
Did you know that identical twin boys have the closest bond of any combination of siblings? I have seen this is my boys since birth...the preference or be in close proximity; the physical touch. Then as they grew, the shared private jokes, and having each other's backs
As we reach upper primary age, the differences between my boys are becoming more marked. Each of them can be challenging to manage, in their unique ways, and wind each other up. Yet they are still the first to stick up for and protect each other. I know their father would have been so proud of this.
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It is true what they say: If you want to know how to treat a child with SEN, watch their sibling.
News: British girl accepted into uni aged just 14
Stories always pop up on my Facebook page, but this one grabbed my attention...not only because the girl is so young, but because she is home educated 😀
Mollie Smith has been accepted to study psychology at the Open University, and "impressed the university with her maturity and academic skills despite not having GCSEs". Mollie had left school during Covid, following bullying and "difficulties at school". I understand she was accepted onto the degree course based on her essay writing, and recommendation from the local authority who recognised her progress since being home educated. An amazing success story, and positive response from the LA, which just proves you do not need the school building or standardised qualifications to achieve. Well done Millie, and best of luck!